My Grandma 3/5/1928-11/3/2008
Today marks the 1-year anniversary of when my grandmother (my dad's mom) passed away. In her memory, I've decided to post the eulogy I wrote and read at her funeral. Enjoy learning a little about my amazing Grandma Coupland today :)
{Photo from Christmas 2007--Jaden, age 2, my cousin Tomisa, my Aunt Lori, Me (with dark hair!), Sienna, age 3 months & Grandma}
Early Monday morning, the world lost a most wonderful lady—Edith Loryane Coupland. I have been privileged to be Lorayne’s granddaughter for 26 of her 80 years here on earth, and this morning I hope that I can give you just a small glimpse into my grandma’s, or Meemaw as I called her, life.
As I sat down to write this, I thought of many things. Most impressive upon my heart have been all the things I have learned from my grandma, so I would like to share some stories and bits of Lorayne’s life through a list I’ve entitled: “Everything I ever needed to know in life I learned from my grandma”
One of the first and foremost things that my Grandma Coupland has taught me is to Make Christ the center of your life and your home.
On this past Monday evening, my aunt Lori, who is Lorayne’s daughter, brought out two journals of Grandma’s full of scripture she wrote down to study, meaningful Christian poems and quotes and lists of things like the 10 commandments, the 12 disciples of Christ, and even a list entitled “How to make the church a success.” I always knew Grandma was a Christian, but as we looked through the several hundred pages of hand-written words, the importance of her relationship with God became all the more evident to me. She used to say a prayer that went like this:
Give me Savior, a purpose deep,
In joy or sorrow your trust to keep,
And so through trouble, care and strife,
To keep you first in my daily life
She may not have been perfect, but she knew that being a Christian did not equal being perfect. Rather, to her it meant knowing her final destination—Heaven, with Jesus and her precious family members who have gone before her. One of the quotes she wrote down in her journal books reads, “Serving the Lord is an investment that pays eternal dividends.” There’s no doubt in my mind that Grandma is reaping the rewards today of the investment she made here on earth.
Second, my Grandma Coupland taught me to love one’s spouse wholeheartedly.
Grandma wrote down, “A good marriage means falling in love many times—but always with the same person.” Throughout the 40 years she spent here on earth with Grandpa, Grandma did just that. She and Grandpa enjoyed many pastimes together from fixing up their homes, making their wooden crafts and planting many flowers each spring to traveling to Florida for the winters once Grandpa retired, videotaping every special occasion and event that they went to, and as a young couple, square dancing the nights away. When Grandpa got sick with cancer, Grandma cared for him every step of the way. She was by his side until the minute his body could take no more and she missed him terribly when he was gone. Imagine the looks on the two of their faces this past Monday—they are together again, this time forever. And I just know Grandma is going to keep on falling in love with Grandpa over and over again for all of eternity.
Next, my Grandma Coupland has taught me to write as much down as you possibly can to leave a legacy for your loved ones.
Grandma wrote down everything from memories, meaningful quotes and poems, even every last detail of her and Grandpa’s health history, what they purchased throughout life, where and when they traveled, etc. She even copied down Aunt Lori’s entire homecoming speech into her journal. This week as we have grieved the loss of Grandma Coupland, her hand written words in her journals, on the backs of pictures and on little sheets of paper that she saved have given us all a comfort that I cannot express in words. Bet you never knew that in October 1965 Grandma and Grandpa bought a GE refridgerator at Biggins in Cortland for $299.95! Or that on June 1, 1979 Lori graduated from mineral ridge high school and received $760 plus gifts! Or how about the year that Grandma lost her fingers from her right hand—1944? Or that Grandma and Grandpa paid exactly $978.89 in federal income taxes in 1957. The fact that Grandma left such explicit details written down is so amazing to all of us and give us so much insight into how her and Grandpa made their house a home, how they raised their children and how they spent and saved their money. Seeing this has been an inspiration to me and while I may not be as disciplined as Grandma was to write down every last detail, I hope that I can leave something similar for my children and grandchildren to look back on one day.
Next, my Grandma Coupland has taught me that the fastest way into anyone’s heart is through their stomach.
Everyone who knew Lorayne knew her cookies. How could you not?—she made them by the double batch early in the morning and froze them so that she could keep them on hand for when guests or her little grandchildren came over. Everyone knew where the deep freeze was and would sneak into it to snag a few cookies when grandma wasn’t looking. I even heard this week that Lorayne’s children and their cousins even perfected exactly how grandma would wrap up the bags or shoe boxes of cookies in the freezer so that she would never know anyone had been into them. As a young teenager, I remember when Grandma would bring a batch of her signature cookies to our house and I, always the one trying to bring an element of fairness to the cookie eating, would divide up the cookies among each of my sisters, my dad and my step-mom, then hide my share in the most inconspicuous spot in the house so that nobody would find and eat my precious commodity. Boy was I excited when as a freshman in college, Grandma sent me an entire box of her cookies to my dorm. I shared a few with my friends, but you better bet I kept most of them hidden away in my room.
And it didn’t end at the cookies. Grandma knew how to cook such delicious meals for our family dinners. Many times her children and grandchildren would gather at her home to eat her delicious pot roast, potatoes and her finely chopped salad that everyone still raves about. And just like her journals, Grandma kept a handwritten copy of each one of her recipes—a legacy to be passed down for generations. That said, don’t even think that any one of you is getting the secret cookie recipe from me—just kidding.
Next, Grandma has taught me to express my creative side.
Who could forget all of the pumpkins that grandma and her dear friend Pauline would paint every fall. Pauline would paint an outline and grandma would paint inside the lines. They sold their gorgeous pumpkins in front of their homes on West Park Avenue and boy did they make nice fall decorations. Grandma even had Pauline paint an outline on a small pumpkin one time and gave me a bag of crayons to color it in. Of course my pumpkin looked pretty dull compared to what she and Pauline were making, but I loved every minute of it nonetheless. And grandma told me how beautiful my pumpkin looked—rainbow colored hair and all.
Pauline shared a story with me last night that I must pass on to all of you. One year she and grandma decided they were going to make a lot more pumpkins in a lot less time. You know the wheels were turning in these two’s heads—o boy the money they were going to make to take their next day-long trip shopping. Pauline used magic markers to do her outlines and grandma colored in the lines with her own markers. They sprayed the pumpkins with acrylic figuring that it would seal the ink on the pumpkins. Later that afternoon as they admired their work, the clouds opened up and dumped buckets of rain upon those pumpkins. Grandma and Pauline watched as ever last drop of ink washed away off of those pumpkins and in Pauline’s own words, they were laughing at the same time as crying!
Another thing I’ve learned from Grandma, is to be a fighter, and be a survivor.
As you all know, Grandma’s life was anything but easy. She lost two sons at young ages—something most mothers hope to never have to endure, and she did so twice and bounced back after time to her upbeat self. She watched her beloved hubby battle cancer and then lost him 12 years ago. She fought through her own health problems—mostly with her heart diseases and multiple strokes. And every step of the way she was thankful for the life she was given and for those around her picking her up when she needed to be uplifted. If my grandma could live through all of this with dignity, than surely we all can handle our little everyday problems.
Next, I learned from my Grandma that there is always someone out there who has needs greater than my own and that I should be a giving person.
She taught this by example for sure. You know the free return address labels that we get in the mail all the time? Most of us snatch up the labels and throw away the donation letter that accompanies them. But not Lorayne. She donated money to every cause that sent her a letter. She also read the paper daily and if there was a touching story in the news, she’d send money to the person or family about whom the article was written. Years ago there was a fire in Warren where a family lost everything. Grandma, who was by no means wealthy, immediately put a check in the mail to the family for several hundred dollars. She would’ve given her own shirt off her back if someone needed it and she realized that it look little by way of “things” to be happy. There are many stories of Grandma giving money and things she had to someone else who she thought would need it more. That’s just who she was—and what I plan to strive to be in her honor.
Next, I learned from my grandma to make holidays special and fun for the whole family.
Each Christmas when our family got together, it was nothing short of meaningful, exciting, crazy, fun, and of course a bit silly. One year we all decided to sing Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you” which was Aunt Becky’s favorite song at the time. Grandma jumped right in with her pseudo-microphone and sang along. In fact, we all laugh so much at this video, that I thought we should share it today:
{We showed a video here.}
That’s what Coupland holidays were like with Grandma. And while I know Christmas won’t be the same this year without Grandma, I also know that our family will continue to be silly and fun as Grandma taught us to be.
And finally, I have learned from my Grandma Coupland that when you cannot do something yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Grandma always had friends and family helping her out, especially after Grandpa got sick and passed away. As we looked through photos this week, two that we laughed a lot over were of Grandma instructing Grandpa, and cousins Mid and Ed in her garden. Here’s Grandma, hands on hips while everyone else in the photos hold shovels and rakes. That was just Grandma. You could never go to her house without receiving a few little jobs to do. My dad and Aunt Becky took care of every single bit of yardwork for Grandma once Grandpa passed away. Grandma’s friend Mike Balash was always on call for home maintenance. At the time as her kids, grandkids, and friends we might’ve grumbled a bit, but it was all worthwhile for Grandma. And of course, you always knew that you’d be rewarded for a job well done with her delicious cookies and dinner.
As Grandma became more elderly and her health declined, she asked my Aunt, her daughter Lori to stay home with her and care for her so that she would not have to be put in a nursing home. You know that only Grandma could ask such a thing and have it be done! Aunt Lori stayed by her side every step of the last 4 years, the most difficult for Grandma in terms of health. When Grandma was in the hospital, Aunt Lori spent many sleepless nights attempting to rest in the horribly uncomfortable hospital room chairs. The rest of our family was always near, but Aunt Lori was THERE. What a testament to how much my grandma meant to her family for her daughter to give up her own life for her mother in these past years. It was all because of the kind of person Grandma was.
There are so many other things that I’ve learned from my Grandma, but I’ve gone on long enough. She raised 5 children and all of her grandchildren on these principles and each one of us will carry a bit of Lorayne with us for ever and ever. We will sure miss her, but we know that we will one day get to see her again, and I’m sure by then she will have even more to teach to all of us.
{Photo from Christmas 2007--Jaden, age 2, my cousin Tomisa, my Aunt Lori, Me (with dark hair!), Sienna, age 3 months & Grandma}Early Monday morning, the world lost a most wonderful lady—Edith Loryane Coupland. I have been privileged to be Lorayne’s granddaughter for 26 of her 80 years here on earth, and this morning I hope that I can give you just a small glimpse into my grandma’s, or Meemaw as I called her, life.
As I sat down to write this, I thought of many things. Most impressive upon my heart have been all the things I have learned from my grandma, so I would like to share some stories and bits of Lorayne’s life through a list I’ve entitled: “Everything I ever needed to know in life I learned from my grandma”
One of the first and foremost things that my Grandma Coupland has taught me is to Make Christ the center of your life and your home.
On this past Monday evening, my aunt Lori, who is Lorayne’s daughter, brought out two journals of Grandma’s full of scripture she wrote down to study, meaningful Christian poems and quotes and lists of things like the 10 commandments, the 12 disciples of Christ, and even a list entitled “How to make the church a success.” I always knew Grandma was a Christian, but as we looked through the several hundred pages of hand-written words, the importance of her relationship with God became all the more evident to me. She used to say a prayer that went like this:
Give me Savior, a purpose deep,
In joy or sorrow your trust to keep,
And so through trouble, care and strife,
To keep you first in my daily life
She may not have been perfect, but she knew that being a Christian did not equal being perfect. Rather, to her it meant knowing her final destination—Heaven, with Jesus and her precious family members who have gone before her. One of the quotes she wrote down in her journal books reads, “Serving the Lord is an investment that pays eternal dividends.” There’s no doubt in my mind that Grandma is reaping the rewards today of the investment she made here on earth.
Second, my Grandma Coupland taught me to love one’s spouse wholeheartedly.
Grandma wrote down, “A good marriage means falling in love many times—but always with the same person.” Throughout the 40 years she spent here on earth with Grandpa, Grandma did just that. She and Grandpa enjoyed many pastimes together from fixing up their homes, making their wooden crafts and planting many flowers each spring to traveling to Florida for the winters once Grandpa retired, videotaping every special occasion and event that they went to, and as a young couple, square dancing the nights away. When Grandpa got sick with cancer, Grandma cared for him every step of the way. She was by his side until the minute his body could take no more and she missed him terribly when he was gone. Imagine the looks on the two of their faces this past Monday—they are together again, this time forever. And I just know Grandma is going to keep on falling in love with Grandpa over and over again for all of eternity.
Next, my Grandma Coupland has taught me to write as much down as you possibly can to leave a legacy for your loved ones.
Grandma wrote down everything from memories, meaningful quotes and poems, even every last detail of her and Grandpa’s health history, what they purchased throughout life, where and when they traveled, etc. She even copied down Aunt Lori’s entire homecoming speech into her journal. This week as we have grieved the loss of Grandma Coupland, her hand written words in her journals, on the backs of pictures and on little sheets of paper that she saved have given us all a comfort that I cannot express in words. Bet you never knew that in October 1965 Grandma and Grandpa bought a GE refridgerator at Biggins in Cortland for $299.95! Or that on June 1, 1979 Lori graduated from mineral ridge high school and received $760 plus gifts! Or how about the year that Grandma lost her fingers from her right hand—1944? Or that Grandma and Grandpa paid exactly $978.89 in federal income taxes in 1957. The fact that Grandma left such explicit details written down is so amazing to all of us and give us so much insight into how her and Grandpa made their house a home, how they raised their children and how they spent and saved their money. Seeing this has been an inspiration to me and while I may not be as disciplined as Grandma was to write down every last detail, I hope that I can leave something similar for my children and grandchildren to look back on one day.
Next, my Grandma Coupland has taught me that the fastest way into anyone’s heart is through their stomach.
Everyone who knew Lorayne knew her cookies. How could you not?—she made them by the double batch early in the morning and froze them so that she could keep them on hand for when guests or her little grandchildren came over. Everyone knew where the deep freeze was and would sneak into it to snag a few cookies when grandma wasn’t looking. I even heard this week that Lorayne’s children and their cousins even perfected exactly how grandma would wrap up the bags or shoe boxes of cookies in the freezer so that she would never know anyone had been into them. As a young teenager, I remember when Grandma would bring a batch of her signature cookies to our house and I, always the one trying to bring an element of fairness to the cookie eating, would divide up the cookies among each of my sisters, my dad and my step-mom, then hide my share in the most inconspicuous spot in the house so that nobody would find and eat my precious commodity. Boy was I excited when as a freshman in college, Grandma sent me an entire box of her cookies to my dorm. I shared a few with my friends, but you better bet I kept most of them hidden away in my room.
And it didn’t end at the cookies. Grandma knew how to cook such delicious meals for our family dinners. Many times her children and grandchildren would gather at her home to eat her delicious pot roast, potatoes and her finely chopped salad that everyone still raves about. And just like her journals, Grandma kept a handwritten copy of each one of her recipes—a legacy to be passed down for generations. That said, don’t even think that any one of you is getting the secret cookie recipe from me—just kidding.
Next, Grandma has taught me to express my creative side.
Who could forget all of the pumpkins that grandma and her dear friend Pauline would paint every fall. Pauline would paint an outline and grandma would paint inside the lines. They sold their gorgeous pumpkins in front of their homes on West Park Avenue and boy did they make nice fall decorations. Grandma even had Pauline paint an outline on a small pumpkin one time and gave me a bag of crayons to color it in. Of course my pumpkin looked pretty dull compared to what she and Pauline were making, but I loved every minute of it nonetheless. And grandma told me how beautiful my pumpkin looked—rainbow colored hair and all.
Pauline shared a story with me last night that I must pass on to all of you. One year she and grandma decided they were going to make a lot more pumpkins in a lot less time. You know the wheels were turning in these two’s heads—o boy the money they were going to make to take their next day-long trip shopping. Pauline used magic markers to do her outlines and grandma colored in the lines with her own markers. They sprayed the pumpkins with acrylic figuring that it would seal the ink on the pumpkins. Later that afternoon as they admired their work, the clouds opened up and dumped buckets of rain upon those pumpkins. Grandma and Pauline watched as ever last drop of ink washed away off of those pumpkins and in Pauline’s own words, they were laughing at the same time as crying!
Another thing I’ve learned from Grandma, is to be a fighter, and be a survivor.
As you all know, Grandma’s life was anything but easy. She lost two sons at young ages—something most mothers hope to never have to endure, and she did so twice and bounced back after time to her upbeat self. She watched her beloved hubby battle cancer and then lost him 12 years ago. She fought through her own health problems—mostly with her heart diseases and multiple strokes. And every step of the way she was thankful for the life she was given and for those around her picking her up when she needed to be uplifted. If my grandma could live through all of this with dignity, than surely we all can handle our little everyday problems.
Next, I learned from my Grandma that there is always someone out there who has needs greater than my own and that I should be a giving person.
She taught this by example for sure. You know the free return address labels that we get in the mail all the time? Most of us snatch up the labels and throw away the donation letter that accompanies them. But not Lorayne. She donated money to every cause that sent her a letter. She also read the paper daily and if there was a touching story in the news, she’d send money to the person or family about whom the article was written. Years ago there was a fire in Warren where a family lost everything. Grandma, who was by no means wealthy, immediately put a check in the mail to the family for several hundred dollars. She would’ve given her own shirt off her back if someone needed it and she realized that it look little by way of “things” to be happy. There are many stories of Grandma giving money and things she had to someone else who she thought would need it more. That’s just who she was—and what I plan to strive to be in her honor.
Next, I learned from my grandma to make holidays special and fun for the whole family.
Each Christmas when our family got together, it was nothing short of meaningful, exciting, crazy, fun, and of course a bit silly. One year we all decided to sing Whitney Houston’s “I will always love you” which was Aunt Becky’s favorite song at the time. Grandma jumped right in with her pseudo-microphone and sang along. In fact, we all laugh so much at this video, that I thought we should share it today:
{We showed a video here.}
That’s what Coupland holidays were like with Grandma. And while I know Christmas won’t be the same this year without Grandma, I also know that our family will continue to be silly and fun as Grandma taught us to be.
And finally, I have learned from my Grandma Coupland that when you cannot do something yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Grandma always had friends and family helping her out, especially after Grandpa got sick and passed away. As we looked through photos this week, two that we laughed a lot over were of Grandma instructing Grandpa, and cousins Mid and Ed in her garden. Here’s Grandma, hands on hips while everyone else in the photos hold shovels and rakes. That was just Grandma. You could never go to her house without receiving a few little jobs to do. My dad and Aunt Becky took care of every single bit of yardwork for Grandma once Grandpa passed away. Grandma’s friend Mike Balash was always on call for home maintenance. At the time as her kids, grandkids, and friends we might’ve grumbled a bit, but it was all worthwhile for Grandma. And of course, you always knew that you’d be rewarded for a job well done with her delicious cookies and dinner.
As Grandma became more elderly and her health declined, she asked my Aunt, her daughter Lori to stay home with her and care for her so that she would not have to be put in a nursing home. You know that only Grandma could ask such a thing and have it be done! Aunt Lori stayed by her side every step of the last 4 years, the most difficult for Grandma in terms of health. When Grandma was in the hospital, Aunt Lori spent many sleepless nights attempting to rest in the horribly uncomfortable hospital room chairs. The rest of our family was always near, but Aunt Lori was THERE. What a testament to how much my grandma meant to her family for her daughter to give up her own life for her mother in these past years. It was all because of the kind of person Grandma was.
There are so many other things that I’ve learned from my Grandma, but I’ve gone on long enough. She raised 5 children and all of her grandchildren on these principles and each one of us will carry a bit of Lorayne with us for ever and ever. We will sure miss her, but we know that we will one day get to see her again, and I’m sure by then she will have even more to teach to all of us.
Comments